我们汉语母语者之所以觉得有点不通顺，是因为“青春”是汉语的固有词语，但是在你诗里是“青色的春天” ，这完全没问题。the reason that we native Chinese speaker feels not natural is because 青春 a word for youth, but in your poem, it means blue spring，which totally makes sense.

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Paul Lei@(paullei95 ),China

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replied to Fuggax@(Fuggax): 我们汉语母语者之所以觉得有点不通顺，是因为“青春”是汉语的固有词语，但是在你诗里是“青色的春天” ，这完全没问题。the reason that we native Chinese speaker feels not natural is because 青春 a word for youth, but in your poem, it means blue spring，which totally makes sense. Chinese (6)

// Fuggax@(Fuggax) 没关系，感谢你的上个意见。我在大学里的汉语教授也觉得这首诗的第一部分用文言文不太通顺。多亏了你们俩的友善评论，我想要再写作更多诗词就继续提高我的风格了。（（：

Fuggax@(Fuggax) Spain

大家好！最近我用文言谱写了一首古典风格的律诗。虽然我的书法还一点儿流利也没有，但是我希望你们都喜欢看这首就听到你们的想法了：华夏之荣。蓝东青春红南赤夏黄西金秋黑北白冬。万物皆流千途归中海内殷富中国天下。— huá xià zhī róng / lán dōng qīng chūn - hóng nán chì xià - huáng xī jīn qiū - hēi běi bái dōng / wàn wù jiē biàn - qián tú guī zhōng - hǎi nèi yīn fù - zhōng guó tiān xià — 我等不及想听大家关于这首诗有什么看法呢 (: Spanish (6)

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Edward Mao@(edwardmao),China

同意，“红南赤夏，黄西金秋，黑北白冬“这个表达方法其实有点新，因此也一下子没反应过来。其它的表达词汇诗词里经常有，所以觉得通顺。did not understand it the first sight because it is fresh expression combination. The other words often appear i. the ancient Chinese poem, that's why we think it is natural. English(4)